Thursday, 22 December 2011

How not to revise.

I'll be perfectly honest and admit that when it comes to revision I'm useless. I'm distracted by eveverything. I'll use any excuse to stop. I'd rather tidy my room than revise; which for me says a lot... I can't help myself! Somehow this is even worse when it's a re-sit, the Irish history module didn't go well for me... I thought it was boring the first time round, doing it again is the most disgusting thing ever!

I'm starting to consider serious measures to keep myself focussed. This includes (be seated before reading, it's shocking) deleteing Facebook. Ouch. I know. I'm usually not that addcted to it, but seeing as I'm online a lot at the moment trying to look for past paper question and other such boring tasks I find it's somehow so much more rewarding to go and complain to everybody else who can't revise too!

I do start the day well, I wake up feeling panicked, and then by the time I get downstaires I've instantly forgotten any feelings of urgency. Really I should be way more stressed than my friends about it, for two big reasons. The first is that they're all smarter than me, by quite a noticable amount, and the second is that all three of my exams are within a three day streatch, one after the other. I know there isn't any point complaining about the timetable, because there isn't anything that I can do about it, but even so I'm pretty sure that examiners are picking on me just for the fun of it... Shame.

Should probably stop blogging and get on with biology, but I really don't think anybody in the whole world will really care how ATP is made. And at what point will photosynthesis really be needed in later life? Ugh. Hate it. At least it's nearly Christmas, something to look forward to, I think... And then New Year's, which is DEFINITELY something to look forward to!

Sunday, 4 December 2011

Why my Advent Calander made me cry...

I'll have to take a deep breath before sharing this very distressing story with you all... But may I just say that I'd had a very difficult december 1st, mainly because my biology ISA was a complete disaster, and I then managed to leave my ENTIRE folder in the LRC and convinced myself that it had run away and would never be returned.

Hopefully you'll now know quite how delicate I've been feeling since the application has been sent off. Friends keep posting on facebook about their successses at interviews, and I really really want to be pleased for them... But... Hmm.. I know it's my own silly fault for not having sent mine off earlier on but jealousy makes even the sanest of society completely irrational. So I clearly don't stand a chance.

Anyway, back to the main source of sadness; my advent calander. When my mum handed it to me and said "I'll have to post you one next year. It'll be so upsetting decorating the tree without you." I just felt blue... Yep, cold feet had set in. And I've only just applied! The chocolate covered ticking time bomb from Thorntons just made me realise how little time we had until the end of term, the exams in january, and having to leave our friends and family.

The depressing musing was temporarily broken by the chocolatey goodness and trying to beat my brother at the spot the difference on the back of the box ( I so let him win, confidence boost needed...) I tend to not take life lessons from year 10 students, but as it went my brother was of some use. He asked if he could come up to stay with me for a weekend once I'm at uni. I asked "Why?" without really thinking, and was astonished by the answer... He said "I'll miss you and stuff, but really I think it's massively unfair that you get to go away, make loads of new friends, have a great time in a new place, live on your own, learn loads of cool stuff about the only subject you love, and I have to stay here and do Geography for another two years..."

It might not have been the most eloquent way of putting it; but really it's always easier to be convinced by somebody else that you'll have a great time, rather than trying to make yourself believe it. We haven't ever really talked about 'serious' subjects of life before, but if I had know how wise my little brother was, I would have consulted him on all manner of subjects. Hadn't quite realised how tough it will be to leave home, or quite how easy it'll be to have a great time once I've gone. And now it really feels like I've got something worth working for.