According to my Head of sixth now that we've had our Easter break "all students should be fully rested and prepared for a lot of hard work". Pfft. Yeah sure. I know everyone's been busy but the break was definitely as exhausting as college. The two coursework deadlines were unfortunately not the most taxing part of the two weeks off; I managed to get a job at Tesco, which is a great distraction and excuse to not have been doing my work. The hours are terrible, but the pay is great, and it's far more rewarding than working (in the short-term).
Some people are far better at looking at the big picture than I am. Getting emails about student finance and the deadline to confirm Uni offers are so off-putting. It'll get done in a rush the day before, just like everything else I do. I've started filling in the details for it, like most people, but really it just feels like hassle!
That being said, I'd rather fill out hundreds and thousands of pages of the paperwork than start revising for the summer exams, which we apparently should be getting on with now? I only have two exams, biology the day before my birthday and then history ten days later, which is the best timetable I've ever had, as it means I can definitely go out on my birthday! Perfect! This is helped by not having any English lessons from now on, I've handed in my course work and I'm all done. Such freedom!
Even though there's a lot to do at the moment, it's all for a good cause, and won't be that bad once I've started it, but finding the motivation to stay in and get it done is just not worth it. In the blink of an eye we'll have the May Ball, leaver's hoodies and exams, and then I'll be wishing I'd just got on and done what needed doing.
Sunday, 22 April 2012
Sunday, 26 February 2012
So much to do, so little time.
There's far too much to do at the moment; to the point where I'm tempted to just ignore the whole lot, or set it alight. The pile of coursework that needs editing so drastically that I may as well re-write the whole thing is looking daunting. Add to this friend's 18th's, and a new job, and open days and it makes sense why I've put it on the back-burner.
That being said, I almost felt motivated the other day. Amazing, a true miracle! On the way back from an offer-holder day I genuinely wanted to get on with the work and get my uni place, this faded on the car journey home though. I don't think I'd be so irritated about it if I were able to just get on and do it, but there's an awful lot of peripheral work that seems to accompany it, and that's hassle. I'll gladly write a few pages about Civil Rights, but the bibliography and the sources and everything else just doesn't seem worth doing.
That being said I've got another offer-holder visit coming up, although it does mean a 7 hour drive to the very end of the country. Hopefully it'll get me into the right frame of mind, and keep me there for long enough to get some productive work done. If not then I'm relying on the shock of results day to motivate me. I know I haven't done well, but maybe I need to learn that lesson the hard way, otherwise I may always be this lazy and useless. Not good. At all.
I'd attempt to do some work today, buuuuuuuut no thanks. The sun is out and it is nursing my self-inflicted pains from last night. Today is not the day for English, nor history, and let's face it no day is ever the right day for Biology. I don't have a healthy work ethic, I admit it, and that is the first step to over-coming my problems, apparently. Let's see how long it takes for me to take the other steps...
That being said, I almost felt motivated the other day. Amazing, a true miracle! On the way back from an offer-holder day I genuinely wanted to get on with the work and get my uni place, this faded on the car journey home though. I don't think I'd be so irritated about it if I were able to just get on and do it, but there's an awful lot of peripheral work that seems to accompany it, and that's hassle. I'll gladly write a few pages about Civil Rights, but the bibliography and the sources and everything else just doesn't seem worth doing.
That being said I've got another offer-holder visit coming up, although it does mean a 7 hour drive to the very end of the country. Hopefully it'll get me into the right frame of mind, and keep me there for long enough to get some productive work done. If not then I'm relying on the shock of results day to motivate me. I know I haven't done well, but maybe I need to learn that lesson the hard way, otherwise I may always be this lazy and useless. Not good. At all.
I'd attempt to do some work today, buuuuuuuut no thanks. The sun is out and it is nursing my self-inflicted pains from last night. Today is not the day for English, nor history, and let's face it no day is ever the right day for Biology. I don't have a healthy work ethic, I admit it, and that is the first step to over-coming my problems, apparently. Let's see how long it takes for me to take the other steps...
Wednesday, 8 February 2012
HALF TERM!
I'll admit that I'm overly excited for half term, possibly more so than I was for Christmas, and for one simple reason: sleep. No, wait, two reasons: sleep and going out. A whole week to doss about and do nothing but laze about and see friends. Perfect plan!
That first paragraph is the hypothetical world I wish existed. It is unfortunately not the whole case. I may be able to carry it off for a few days at least, but I have to do my English and History coursework, and some Biology if the course work doesn't kill me. Oh and look for a job because I'm too skint to live at the moment. Wow... So... Half term sounds great...
The even balance between social life and working has always alluded me. I tend to allow one to slip and then have to work really hard to catch up. I'm not advising this because of the health and safety risk associated with it, but it works for me. I like having a week or two of nothingness; going out and letting the paper pile stack up, and then having some serious pressure to work against. It keeps me motivated, and especially if it's not a topic I'm interested in as I know I have to get it done.
It's a shame that I'll have to say goodbye to this strategy next year. I'm assuming that the step up in social and work levels at uni will make this laissez-faire attitude a no-go area. It's not a change I'm looking forward to... But then again there are so many changes that will be welcomed that I guess it'll still be worthwhile... One of the many changes will be the incredibly long holidays! I need one, now!
That first paragraph is the hypothetical world I wish existed. It is unfortunately not the whole case. I may be able to carry it off for a few days at least, but I have to do my English and History coursework, and some Biology if the course work doesn't kill me. Oh and look for a job because I'm too skint to live at the moment. Wow... So... Half term sounds great...
The even balance between social life and working has always alluded me. I tend to allow one to slip and then have to work really hard to catch up. I'm not advising this because of the health and safety risk associated with it, but it works for me. I like having a week or two of nothingness; going out and letting the paper pile stack up, and then having some serious pressure to work against. It keeps me motivated, and especially if it's not a topic I'm interested in as I know I have to get it done.
It's a shame that I'll have to say goodbye to this strategy next year. I'm assuming that the step up in social and work levels at uni will make this laissez-faire attitude a no-go area. It's not a change I'm looking forward to... But then again there are so many changes that will be welcomed that I guess it'll still be worthwhile... One of the many changes will be the incredibly long holidays! I need one, now!
Monday, 30 January 2012
All Done! Oh no wait....
I woke up today with a little smile of relief on my face. I survived the January exams - probably didn't get through it with straight A's, but hey at least I'm still in one piece! I then logged into track, and I've got two new offers! That's four out of five! Amazing! Just got to hope that I've met the required grades, but for the next month and a bit until results day there's nothing that can be done, so I'll just relax.
Well.. I say there's nothing to be done, but that's just not true... I've got to get my English and History course work done before next term, and then revise for the summer exams. I keep trying to remind myself that actually this isn't a never-ending stress- machine, and eventually it'll be the summer holidays, and that's something to look forward to! It's all been planned and booked, and won't clash with the summer exams, which is arguably a good thing, I'm yet to be convinced.
I'm just pleased that I'm not in the year below right now, they're going to a UCAS fayre at Surrey Uni tomorrow, which we all did this time last year. It was good fun, before we arrived. There was a sudden panic when we entered the hall and saw how many stands there were, from universities all over the country. I ended up bringing home so many prospectuses for absolutely no reason. It took hours and hours reading over each one trying to choose a course that I liked, and that wasn't too close or too far away from home - i.e far enough to not have the parents drop in uninvited, but close enough to make use of the free food and washing machine if needed. I don't know how I ever managed to whittle down the hundreds of choices to just five, but over time it just happened, gut instinct more than anything else. I just decided if I didn't really love it straight away then it wasn't worth three years of my life.
Remembering that grand day out reminded me of how much hard work we've already done to get to uni. In a really short space of time we've achieved a massive amount, and we've got even less time now to finish it all up. It's scary but I'm so pleased it's almost over.
Well.. I say there's nothing to be done, but that's just not true... I've got to get my English and History course work done before next term, and then revise for the summer exams. I keep trying to remind myself that actually this isn't a never-ending stress- machine, and eventually it'll be the summer holidays, and that's something to look forward to! It's all been planned and booked, and won't clash with the summer exams, which is arguably a good thing, I'm yet to be convinced.
I'm just pleased that I'm not in the year below right now, they're going to a UCAS fayre at Surrey Uni tomorrow, which we all did this time last year. It was good fun, before we arrived. There was a sudden panic when we entered the hall and saw how many stands there were, from universities all over the country. I ended up bringing home so many prospectuses for absolutely no reason. It took hours and hours reading over each one trying to choose a course that I liked, and that wasn't too close or too far away from home - i.e far enough to not have the parents drop in uninvited, but close enough to make use of the free food and washing machine if needed. I don't know how I ever managed to whittle down the hundreds of choices to just five, but over time it just happened, gut instinct more than anything else. I just decided if I didn't really love it straight away then it wasn't worth three years of my life.
Remembering that grand day out reminded me of how much hard work we've already done to get to uni. In a really short space of time we've achieved a massive amount, and we've got even less time now to finish it all up. It's scary but I'm so pleased it's almost over.
Friday, 13 January 2012
The Final Week
Oh. Well.... Looks like I'm going to have three re-sits in the summer.... Revision is killing me. Interim reports are making it an even more torturous death. And not going out is making me very, very snappy... Which is why I haven't blogged; too much hate, can't vent online, it's mean exposing you innocents to such unkindness!
Oh yeah AND I don't get study leave! AND I have three exams in three days! Pretty sure there's a world-wide conspiracy that has been devised by the evil geniuses that run Edexcel and AQA. It all seems an unneccessarily complicated way to make me unhappy and stressy.
In all honesty I hate feeling like this. I tend not to complain an awful lot about anything. But this is bad... I don't pretend to play it cool about exams; I panic, I revise until I'm comatosed and I then don't read the questions properly and majorly mess up. This is incredibly irritating when I have to listen to everyone in the common room say "Oh yeah, I did an hour or so, should be fine, doesn't matter" and then come out with 94% in each module. Lovely. I'm so pleased for them. I'd give my soul to be so naturally gifted, alas I am but a mere mortal in a state sixth form, which is all well and good but I'd like a safety net when I walk into the exam hall.
Oh well, in a fortnight I'll know whether or not I've absolutely ballsed up this entire thing. Which is good and bad. I'm starting to consider doing a BBC internship and taking that route ... it's probably just being so tired and bored of college and exams making me say that, really I'm not in the right frame of mind to make such decisions. But there's an alternative that I'd genuinely enjoy, which is reassuring. I think I'd do well and enjoy it anyway, just wonder how much help a degree would be right now in a career that so heavily depends on networking and first impressions...
I should really focus on revision and not distract myself with such hypothetical passing thoughts. But... It's hard to put so much into this when it's yet another stepping stone. There's an awful lot of work for very little gain. I wouldn't mind if I felt there was really something that would contribute to my future coming out of this, but we've got to wait another bizillion years to get our degree. Never mind, and chin up! Good luck with the revision and exams, and expel equally pessimisitc thoughts from your pretty little heads!
Oh yeah AND I don't get study leave! AND I have three exams in three days! Pretty sure there's a world-wide conspiracy that has been devised by the evil geniuses that run Edexcel and AQA. It all seems an unneccessarily complicated way to make me unhappy and stressy.
In all honesty I hate feeling like this. I tend not to complain an awful lot about anything. But this is bad... I don't pretend to play it cool about exams; I panic, I revise until I'm comatosed and I then don't read the questions properly and majorly mess up. This is incredibly irritating when I have to listen to everyone in the common room say "Oh yeah, I did an hour or so, should be fine, doesn't matter" and then come out with 94% in each module. Lovely. I'm so pleased for them. I'd give my soul to be so naturally gifted, alas I am but a mere mortal in a state sixth form, which is all well and good but I'd like a safety net when I walk into the exam hall.
Oh well, in a fortnight I'll know whether or not I've absolutely ballsed up this entire thing. Which is good and bad. I'm starting to consider doing a BBC internship and taking that route ... it's probably just being so tired and bored of college and exams making me say that, really I'm not in the right frame of mind to make such decisions. But there's an alternative that I'd genuinely enjoy, which is reassuring. I think I'd do well and enjoy it anyway, just wonder how much help a degree would be right now in a career that so heavily depends on networking and first impressions...
I should really focus on revision and not distract myself with such hypothetical passing thoughts. But... It's hard to put so much into this when it's yet another stepping stone. There's an awful lot of work for very little gain. I wouldn't mind if I felt there was really something that would contribute to my future coming out of this, but we've got to wait another bizillion years to get our degree. Never mind, and chin up! Good luck with the revision and exams, and expel equally pessimisitc thoughts from your pretty little heads!
Thursday, 22 December 2011
How not to revise.
I'll be perfectly honest and admit that when it comes to revision I'm useless. I'm distracted by eveverything. I'll use any excuse to stop. I'd rather tidy my room than revise; which for me says a lot... I can't help myself! Somehow this is even worse when it's a re-sit, the Irish history module didn't go well for me... I thought it was boring the first time round, doing it again is the most disgusting thing ever!
I'm starting to consider serious measures to keep myself focussed. This includes (be seated before reading, it's shocking) deleteing Facebook. Ouch. I know. I'm usually not that addcted to it, but seeing as I'm online a lot at the moment trying to look for past paper question and other such boring tasks I find it's somehow so much more rewarding to go and complain to everybody else who can't revise too!
I do start the day well, I wake up feeling panicked, and then by the time I get downstaires I've instantly forgotten any feelings of urgency. Really I should be way more stressed than my friends about it, for two big reasons. The first is that they're all smarter than me, by quite a noticable amount, and the second is that all three of my exams are within a three day streatch, one after the other. I know there isn't any point complaining about the timetable, because there isn't anything that I can do about it, but even so I'm pretty sure that examiners are picking on me just for the fun of it... Shame.
Should probably stop blogging and get on with biology, but I really don't think anybody in the whole world will really care how ATP is made. And at what point will photosynthesis really be needed in later life? Ugh. Hate it. At least it's nearly Christmas, something to look forward to, I think... And then New Year's, which is DEFINITELY something to look forward to!
I'm starting to consider serious measures to keep myself focussed. This includes (be seated before reading, it's shocking) deleteing Facebook. Ouch. I know. I'm usually not that addcted to it, but seeing as I'm online a lot at the moment trying to look for past paper question and other such boring tasks I find it's somehow so much more rewarding to go and complain to everybody else who can't revise too!
I do start the day well, I wake up feeling panicked, and then by the time I get downstaires I've instantly forgotten any feelings of urgency. Really I should be way more stressed than my friends about it, for two big reasons. The first is that they're all smarter than me, by quite a noticable amount, and the second is that all three of my exams are within a three day streatch, one after the other. I know there isn't any point complaining about the timetable, because there isn't anything that I can do about it, but even so I'm pretty sure that examiners are picking on me just for the fun of it... Shame.
Should probably stop blogging and get on with biology, but I really don't think anybody in the whole world will really care how ATP is made. And at what point will photosynthesis really be needed in later life? Ugh. Hate it. At least it's nearly Christmas, something to look forward to, I think... And then New Year's, which is DEFINITELY something to look forward to!
Sunday, 4 December 2011
Why my Advent Calander made me cry...
I'll have to take a deep breath before sharing this very distressing story with you all... But may I just say that I'd had a very difficult december 1st, mainly because my biology ISA was a complete disaster, and I then managed to leave my ENTIRE folder in the LRC and convinced myself that it had run away and would never be returned.
Hopefully you'll now know quite how delicate I've been feeling since the application has been sent off. Friends keep posting on facebook about their successses at interviews, and I really really want to be pleased for them... But... Hmm.. I know it's my own silly fault for not having sent mine off earlier on but jealousy makes even the sanest of society completely irrational. So I clearly don't stand a chance.
Anyway, back to the main source of sadness; my advent calander. When my mum handed it to me and said "I'll have to post you one next year. It'll be so upsetting decorating the tree without you." I just felt blue... Yep, cold feet had set in. And I've only just applied! The chocolate covered ticking time bomb from Thorntons just made me realise how little time we had until the end of term, the exams in january, and having to leave our friends and family.
The depressing musing was temporarily broken by the chocolatey goodness and trying to beat my brother at the spot the difference on the back of the box ( I so let him win, confidence boost needed...) I tend to not take life lessons from year 10 students, but as it went my brother was of some use. He asked if he could come up to stay with me for a weekend once I'm at uni. I asked "Why?" without really thinking, and was astonished by the answer... He said "I'll miss you and stuff, but really I think it's massively unfair that you get to go away, make loads of new friends, have a great time in a new place, live on your own, learn loads of cool stuff about the only subject you love, and I have to stay here and do Geography for another two years..."
It might not have been the most eloquent way of putting it; but really it's always easier to be convinced by somebody else that you'll have a great time, rather than trying to make yourself believe it. We haven't ever really talked about 'serious' subjects of life before, but if I had know how wise my little brother was, I would have consulted him on all manner of subjects. Hadn't quite realised how tough it will be to leave home, or quite how easy it'll be to have a great time once I've gone. And now it really feels like I've got something worth working for.
Hopefully you'll now know quite how delicate I've been feeling since the application has been sent off. Friends keep posting on facebook about their successses at interviews, and I really really want to be pleased for them... But... Hmm.. I know it's my own silly fault for not having sent mine off earlier on but jealousy makes even the sanest of society completely irrational. So I clearly don't stand a chance.
Anyway, back to the main source of sadness; my advent calander. When my mum handed it to me and said "I'll have to post you one next year. It'll be so upsetting decorating the tree without you." I just felt blue... Yep, cold feet had set in. And I've only just applied! The chocolate covered ticking time bomb from Thorntons just made me realise how little time we had until the end of term, the exams in january, and having to leave our friends and family.
The depressing musing was temporarily broken by the chocolatey goodness and trying to beat my brother at the spot the difference on the back of the box ( I so let him win, confidence boost needed...) I tend to not take life lessons from year 10 students, but as it went my brother was of some use. He asked if he could come up to stay with me for a weekend once I'm at uni. I asked "Why?" without really thinking, and was astonished by the answer... He said "I'll miss you and stuff, but really I think it's massively unfair that you get to go away, make loads of new friends, have a great time in a new place, live on your own, learn loads of cool stuff about the only subject you love, and I have to stay here and do Geography for another two years..."
It might not have been the most eloquent way of putting it; but really it's always easier to be convinced by somebody else that you'll have a great time, rather than trying to make yourself believe it. We haven't ever really talked about 'serious' subjects of life before, but if I had know how wise my little brother was, I would have consulted him on all manner of subjects. Hadn't quite realised how tough it will be to leave home, or quite how easy it'll be to have a great time once I've gone. And now it really feels like I've got something worth working for.
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